On the most beautiful day since records began, St Christopher of the Collapsed Lung was driving his brand-new second-hand convertible moped at a variable rate of interest along the motorway. It wasn’t a metaphorical motorway, like “The Motorway of Life” or “The Fast Lane of the Motorway to Financial Success”, but an actual, real, genuine, fictional narrative motorway, the MO-6O-in-3-seconds.
Travelling along the MO-6O-in-3-seconds, St Christopher of the Collapsed Lung noticed a sign on the lorry in front of him. This is what was printed on the sign:
THINK!
IF I STOP,
CAN YOU?
St Christopher of the Collapsed Lung was puzzled.
IF I STOP, CAN YOU what?
IF I STOP, CAN YOU give me a lift?
IF I STOP, CAN YOU change my oil?
IF I STOP, CAN YOU give me directions?
IF I STOP, CAN YOU guess why I’ve stopped?
St Christopher of the Collapsed Lung read the sign again. St Christopher of the Collapsed Lung was puzzled.
IF I STOP what?
IF I STOP smoking cigarettes?
IF I STOP believing the Daily Mail?
IF I STOP drinking too many units of alcohol in a week?
St Christopher of the Collapsed Lung looked at the word: THINK! This achieved in him a moment of cosmic self-realization, as his brand-new second-hand convertible moped ploughed into the back of the lorry with the sign:
THINK!
IF I STOP,
CAN YOU?
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