Memo
From: The Big Fight PR Co.
To: Mr Clay
Hey, big man! We need a catchphrase for your pre-fight. Ideas?
Memo
From: Mr Clay’s Trainer.
To: The Big Fight PR Company
Cassius says:
“Bob up and down like an apple in a bucket of water,
Hurt like a stubbed toe.”
Memo
From: The Big Fight PR Co.
To: Mr Clay
Hey there again, big guy! Almost there with the catchphrase. Give it one more go, perhaps?
Memo
From: Mr Clay’s Trainer.
To: The Big Fight PR Company
Cassius says:
“Dance like a man with ants in his pants,
Thump like a really cross much bigger brother who’s been working out at the gym.”
He ain’t gonna do another, so this better be okay.
Memo
From: The Big Fight PR Co.
To: Mr Clay’s Trainer
Hey! That’s great, sir! Could you make it more poetic for him?
Memo
From: Mr Clay’s Trainer.
To: The Big Fight PR Company
Why?
Memo
From: The Big Fight PR Co.
To: Mr Clay’s Trainer
It would make it more memorable.
Memo
From: Mr Clay’s Trainer.
To: The Big Fight PR Company
Jeez. You guys are drivin’ me nuts. I gotta fight to think about. I spent all evenin’ on this one:
“Move like a psychotic madman,
Punch like a thug.”
Then, when I woke up this mornin’, this just popped into my head outta nowhere:
“Shimmer like a mirage,
Torture like a bad-tempered Nazi.”
Shimmer – surely that’s poetic, man?
Memo
From: The Big Fight PR Co.
To: Mr Clay’s Trainer
It is poetry, and you’re so nearly there with it. How about:
“Float like a …….
Stink like a …?”
You’re sure headin’ in the right direction now, sir.
Memo
From: Mr Clay’s Trainer.
To: The Big Fight PR Company
You guys know how to try a feller’s patience.
“Float like a turd that won’t flush,
Stink like a turd that won’t flush.”
Even Cassius could get that one right, don’tcha think? Ha, ha!
Memo
From: The Big Fight PR Co.
To: Mr Clay’s Trainer
I read and re-read your memo several times and then realized the mistake in mine. “Sting” not “Stink”.
Memo
From: Mr Clay’s Trainer.
To: The Big Fight PR Company
I did wonder.
I only got two more, than I’m all done:
“Float like a bad smell,
Sting like the end of a reefer.”
Or:
“Float like a life raft,
Sting like a grazed knee.”
That’s it. I’m all poetic-ed out.
Memo
From: The Big Fight PR Co.
To: Mr Clay’s Trainer
Is there any chance you might just give it one more try, sir? They’re really great, just lacking a certain something.
Memo
From: Mr Clay’s Trainer.
To: The Big Fight PR Company
Ah! Forget it! What do we pay you for, anyhow? With all your ‘spensive education, surely you can come up with something yourself, instead of getting me to think up all this “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee” shit.
No more! No way, no how!
Memo
From: The Big Fight PR Co.
To: Mr Clay’s Trainer
Thank you, sir. You’ve been a great help.
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