Occupying the shed at the end of his garden which he had never visited,
Certain defied gravity by jumping on a priceless Grecian Urn. Kent
Kent Certain knew that, one day, gravity would kill him. This was the knowledge which
Certain held. Kent
Jumping outside and onto a stolen trampoline which had once won the Turner Prize, John Lennon’s returned MBE and a place on “I’m a Celebrity, Stab Me in the Neck”,
Certain raved in a Dionysian fit on the most decorated trampoline in history. The soundtrack of his rave, “Tammy Wynette: A Moving Collection of Death Metal Tributes”, was currently stuck for eternity on “Stand by Your Hat” by Hollowed Out Skull. Kent Certain sang along to the words at the top of his voice: Kent
“Beauty is truth, truth beauty – that is all
You know on earth and all you need to know.
That and the fact that gravity will one day kill you.
Stand by your hat.”
Next week it would be black holes.
“That’s still gravity!” shouted a smart-arse.