A Makeover

It was announced today that Evil Looking Beard had last night been turned into Harmless Beard Wig.

            Appearing in front of a specially uninvited audience of glue sticks, former Miss Worlds and tartan-clad hoover manufacturers, the High Priest of the Church of Corporate America, Fr Jesus Bahamas, said, “Last night, armed only with a thesaurus and spellchecker, our special needs forces apprehended Evil Looking Beard, subjected it to a quick dry shave and then re-assembled it as Harmless Beard Wig. Although fifty-seven US Marines accidentally killed each other in friendly banter, no Americans died during the operation.”

            Toolbox McFistycuffs, CEO of The Trans-Global Vacuum Cleaner Alliance, said afterwards that hoover manufacturers across the world could now resume the manufacturing of hoovers in a peaceful manner and put away their secret military factories “until next time”. This year’s Miss World, Miss Guantanamo Bay, said that now she had established world peace, she would spend the rest of the year working in a sanctuary for destitute terrorists.