It was announced today that Evil Looking Beard had last night been turned into Harmless Beard Wig.
Appearing in front of a specially uninvited audience of glue sticks, former Miss Worlds and tartan-clad hoover manufacturers, the High Priest of the Church of Corporate America, Fr Jesus Bahamas, said, “Last night, armed only with a thesaurus and spellchecker, our special needs forces apprehended Evil Looking Beard, subjected it to a quick dry shave and then re-assembled it as Harmless Beard Wig. Although fifty-seven US Marines accidentally killed each other in friendly banter, no Americans died during the operation.”
Toolbox McFistycuffs, CEO of The Trans-Global Vacuum Cleaner Alliance, said afterwards that hoover manufacturers across the world could now resume the manufacturing of hoovers in a peaceful manner and put away their secret military factories “until next time”. This year’s Miss World,
, said that now she had established world peace, she would spend the rest of the year working in a sanctuary for destitute terrorists. Miss Guantanamo Bay