I’ll give advice to you for free:
Avoid the educated bee;
It quotes from Shakespeare all day long,
And suffers tantrums when it’s wrong.
Advice I give to you for nuthin’:
Avoid the magic, German puffin;
It takes your stuff and makes it vanish,
Then blames it on the pesky Spanish.
If what you need is free advice:
Steer clear of interfering mice;
They like to point out all your flaws,
Whilst varnishing their mousey-claws.
If more advice is what you need,
Then nothing further should you read;
The news I have may spoil your day:
Henceforth, pal – you’ve gotta pay.