When Uncle Matt
Became a cat
He killed my sister’s fluffy rabbit.
To make amends, we bought some more,
They only fed his lust for gore;
A most alarming habit.
When Aunty Vi
Became a fly
She lost her appetite for food;
“Ingesting the faeces
Of any species,
Strikes me,” she said, “as rude*.”
When Aunty Trish
Became a fish
Her scales were of a golden hue;
But breathing water made her tired,
And thus it was that she expired.
We flushed her down the loo.
*although, what she actually said was, “Bzzz-bzzz-bzzz bzz bzz-bzz
Bzz-bzz bz bzz.”