Sunday, 10 July 2011

The Rain it Raineth Every Day

I hope-y for an sunny walk,
All inna mumf of grimpy Splosh!
I walk in wiv a slate-grey ksky,
And hoping not get awfy wash.

                        (Der – stewp id! Wotchoo
                        ix pecked ink, hmmm?)

Me warkled long an look for sea,
De-zerted sandy covey cove,
When Bliy me! Sudden hear a bang!
A funderstorn mine ears behove

                        (See? You am a ficko;
                        we said it all along.)

The sksy above all dripsy-drips,
Did starty fall ing on I’s face,
But only pitter-patter splat,
And not yet ever single place.

                        (Yet! Juss chew wait,

The rain eet rainy splash all wet,
The rainy! Splash! And DOWNPOUR! SOAK!
Ve funderstaum all boing! And bam!
I soaky! Drippy! DRENCHY! Bloke!

                        (‘Arf, ‘arf, har, har, har!
                        There wentings our sidesplits,
                        you massiff irriot; we
                        tolt chew.)

But not to be defeated I,
I fort, “How bad can soaky get?”
It turns out: Very much, a lot,
Complete and total total-wet.

                        (We am still orl larff-
                        out-louding, you ornamental buffoon)

The sudden sodden soaking soak,
Just like I fell in swimming pool,
I’s cloves and shoes ‘n’ ever fink,
Got through-and-frew wiv rainy drool

                        (Euurrgghh; vat sounds yuk!
                        You am are an yukkies, intchoo?)

And nearly drowned all drowndy glugle,
Drowny Fergus Gonny-gurgle,
All wet disrobed then dry as dry,
Me put on clothes belong to I.

                        (Har, har, har! Hey – you
                        fgot a say – “And ven ve
                        rain stopt.” Pfffsst!)

And then, of course, the rainy stopt,
It didn’t carry on for much,
It troof I fort it rhathver fun,
I never mind the rain, as such.

                        (All’s wet that ends wet!
                        Der, ficko! Ven why quote
                        Twewff Night, er?!)

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