New Restrictions

   after Dean Young

 

I don’t care…

 

if you have

learnt all of the ‘popular’

bits of Shakespeare in order to appear

more roundedly intellectual

than you actually are

 

or if you once saw a cloud

that looked like a bucket of gladioli

 

or you’re ambidextrous,

but only in one hand,

 

or how tall you are

 

or whether you prefer

the burnt orange bedspread

 

or you have too many pairs

of cheap reading glasses

 

or whatever tiddlywinks team

you claim to support

 

or if very blue

is your favourite colour

 

or if you really did meet

Alan Watts on the road to Damascus

 

or if you escaped from Alcatraz

for your summer holiday

 

or which wretched school you went to

or if you can’t watch a sunset

without running for cover

 

or anything that you could

possibly think of…

 

You can’t park here.