It is not loyalty to pieces of cloth
with silly designs on them
which breeds patriotism,
but loyalty to food.
America’s true allegiance
is to doughnuts, cheeseburgers and coke,
not stars and stripes.
England is still mad enough to fight a war
over fish and chips,
Cornish pasties and flat beer.
Disparage the baguette,
or any of the five mother sauces,
anywhere in France, and see how long you last.
Surrender the world’s power to the chefs.
There’ll be no room for diplomatic enmity
when a well-run kitchen
becomes the chief instrument of realpolitik.
As no Chinese sage ever said:
when the feast is edible,
and not ideological,
harmony will reign.