Friday, 30 October 2020

We Shall Picnic on the Beaches

It is not loyalty to pieces of cloth

with silly designs on them

which breeds patriotism,

but loyalty to food.


America’s true allegiance

is to doughnuts, cheeseburgers and coke,

not stars and stripes.


England is still mad enough to fight a war

over fish and chips,

Cornish pasties and flat beer.


Disparage the baguette,

or any of the five mother sauces,

anywhere in France, and see how long you last.


Surrender the world’s power to the chefs.

There’ll be no room for diplomatic enmity

when a well-run kitchen

becomes the chief instrument of realpolitik.


As no Chinese sage ever said:

when the feast is edible,

and not ideological,

harmony will reign.