Shazza, Lazza and The Duffer (by a Macca)

Whilst stumbling through some analysis of Robert Frost’s poetry (his use of loose iambics, a mixture of underlying iambic feet with an occasional anapaestic foot, which I only mention in an attempt to impress the easily impressed) I misread the following: “And when Frosty (sic), in the stanza’s third line, represses this counter-idea…”

It is at this point that I sense an answer to the age-old conundrum Why is sport so much more popular than poetry? namely, Because sport gives user-friendly nicknames to the successfully sporty. Working on this theory (and not the theory that says sport is more popular than poetry because people know where they are with sport while poetry just makes them ill, or the other theory which would have it that sport is more popular than poetry because it’s easier to watch people, for example, swimming in a pool than it is to analyse Robert Frosty Frost’s use of loose iambics), I decide to give a few poets some much needed sports nicknames, just to get the ball rolling.

Shakespeare – Shazza (for the more formal amongst you, William Shakespeare translates as Wizza Shazza)

Robert Frost – Frosty! (omitting the exclamation mark when discussing his use of loose iambics)

Philip Larkin – Lazza

Carol Ann Duffy – The Duffer

WH Auden – Denny

Luke Kennard – Wolf! (award yourself an extra point if you get this without having to Google it)

Any poet with a Mc or Mac in their name – Macca

Back to sport, and I contemplate the irony of Tiger Woods’ nickname not being Woody (his given nickname being “Shagger”, a reference to his forename “Tiger”, also a nickname, presumably).

Post Scriptum I deliberately miss Keats out of my list of poets as I aim to finish this blog with my favourite, and only, poetry joke:

I walked into Waterstone’s and asked if they had any Keats.

“What’s a Keat?” replied the callow youth by the till.

(If anyone has the answer, please let me know.)