Saturday, 8 March 2014

Tribute Acts

The Paul Weller Tribute Act, who play all of The Jam’s greatest hits while dressed as The Style Council.

The Bryan Adams Tribute Act, who play “Everything Thing I Do, I Do It For You” seventeen times in a row, once for each week it spent at number 1.

The David Bowie Tribute Act, who painstakingly recreate his 1983 “Let’s Dance” yuppie look and play only Tin Machine songs.

The Rolling Stones Tribute Act, who have a Ronnie Wood but not a Brian Jones.

The Tom Jones Tribute Act, who accidentally looks like Englebert Humperdinck.

The Paul McCartney Tribute Act, who only play Wings songs and who close their set with “Give Ireland Back to the Irish”.

The Beatles Tribute Act, who only play the cover-songs from the first five albums, and who encore with the only two songs which Ringo wrote. 

The Elvis Presley Tribute Acts, who recreate the cape-and-flares tragedy of 1976, complete with baffling kung-fu moves, beer-gut and unironic satirical quiff, while ignoring the slinky hipness of 1954. 

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