Wednesday 8 June 2011

The Story of Tarquin Have No Chin


Chapter One in which Tarquin have no chin…

Tarquin have no chin. Har, har, har, har, har.


Chapter 2 in which we all know a Tarquin…

We all know a Tarquin. He have no chin. Har, har, har, har, har.


Chapter 3 in which the return of Tarquin have no chin…

Tarquin have no chin. Har, har, har, har, har. He have no chin. Har, har, har.


Chapter 4 in which Tarquin is sent to boredom school prism aged six. And have no chin…

“Tarquin have no chin!
Tarquin have no chin!
Tarquin have no chin!”

“Look at him go mental like an mental! RUN!!!”

“Whisper; shshshshshsh!!! Tarquin have no chin, har-har!”

“Shutup, sporran-face; him find us and be an mental.”

Tarquin have no chin.


Chapter 5 in which Tarquin am Head of School Dinners and have no chin…

“Eny of you little squirts mention it and you’ll be sorry; verry, verry sorry.”

The Headcase Boyzone have no chin!”

“Who said that?!!!”

HE DID!!!” them all yelled, pointing at a picture of the Madonna with childless in the chapel.


Chapter 6  in which Tarquin have no chin at Oxtwat Universally Loathed…

The Oxtwat Universally Loathed Smug Stupid Society Propose This Motion:

“This House Pompously and Self-Importantly I’m A Believer That Tarquin Have No Chin.”

Parsed.


Chapter 7  in which Tarquin am an Memper of Barliament...

“May I refer my Right Wing Honourable friend or foe to an answer me that and stay fashionable which I gave earlier. Namely, Tarquin have no chin!”

The House eruption Van Halen.

“Hear! Hear!”

“ORDURE! ORDURE!”


Chapter 8 in which Tarquin have an pubic disgrace…

From: “The Daily Shitslinger”

OBLOQUY!!!

Tarquin Have No Chin, aged, Remember of Pariamental for Chicken-inna-Basket, have no chin. Shame on His! Sack His! Disgrace!


Chapter 9 in which Tarquin write him memoirs

I have no chin. Har, har, har, har har. Them was days.


Chapter 10 in which Tarquin have no chin dies…

Tarquin have a died. He still have no chin.

Everybody has a sad.

Everybody: One, two, three – Tarquin have no chin! Har, har, har, har, har!

Even in death.

2 comments:

  1. Fergus you have a unique voice. Literally. Splendifferent.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks, Will. Up in London soon - fancy a get together?

    ReplyDelete