A is for spoons, all shiny and lost.
B is for table, which I hide underneath when it rains.
C is for knee-caps, all tattered and torn.
D is for surprisingly inaccurate weather forecasts, all shiny and lost.
E is for the Colosseum, shut it,
F is for fruitcake, what a disaster!
G is for garden fence, that’s enough of that.
H is for Queen Ezaabeth, whose photogenic armpits.
I is for I can see the sea, shut up, I saw it first.
J is for Telletubies, all covered in meat.
K is for cabbages, what smell like an yucky.
L is for lemonade,ooh, super, can I have some? Why not?!
M is for brick, despite all its nevertheless and so forth.
N is for hurray! which we have on a death.
O is for Dipsomania Bonanza, go on, you know you want to.
P is for piano which lands on yours head.
Q is for rotten Prime Minister, shoot him inna knee-cap all, tattered and torn.
R is for a naughty, so shut it!
S is a lisp, har, har, har, har, har!
T am a lamp-post, all worshippy-woo.
U is for whoopsadaisy, there’s goes another bomb scare.
V is for ooooh, mysterious, just like him Mummy.
W is for nothing, which everyone hate.
X is for kisses, which you’re not getting.
Y is for asylum seeker, escape!
Z is for happy, hip, hip, hip, hooray! which everyone hate.
This am my Alfie bet, made out of word,
Sing it aloud and that nobody herd.