I fumbled ’umbly as an clod,
What floaty high-pitched vowels and pills,
When, “What’s all this?” I seen a sod
Of moist and mouldy crocodils.
Beneath a cake, behind a cheese,
Stuttering and mincing: “Atchoo! Sneeze!”
Combobulous as a tarty whine
All winky on a slimy clay,
They string ‘em up for speeding fine
Without a single hip-hooray!
Then naughties stolen all from
Doing funky-chicken dance.
My gravy slipped a disc; but hey!
What’s this? They’re parking cars at sea;
A poncy ponce from Haringey,
Insulting little bumble-bee:
Unfazed and fazed, I bottle sought
And then I drank the booze I bought.
Far out, anon, my poochy spy:
Invalid, bored, expensive, rude,
It trashed anon the tinpot – why?
Slipped on a tissue in the nude;
And then my flippy-floppy pills,
Did make me eat them daffodils
by Reallyam Worthless