Sunday, 12 June 2011


Physics A (Impossible)

Unit 1 Particles, Testicles and Icicles

For this paper you must have:
  • The large Hadron Collider.
  •  A calculator.
  • The answers.

Time allowed: a decaying, unstable nucleus emitting a Z particle.

  • Answer the questions.
  • Write the answers to the questions.
  • Write the correct answers to the questions.
  • Do not write the wrong answers to the questions.
  • Do not start yet.
  • Okay, now you can start.

1. x (43 – n) + theta = a duck.


2. Express the curve of the wave with a terminal velocity of n – 1 (not to scale) as a line of blank verse.

3. Draw an arrow on the figure 1 (not shown) to show a transition which emits a photon of a longer wavelength than that emitted in the transition from level n = 4 to level n = 3.

Or you could stare out of the window.

4. Which part of the atom is “the dangerous bit”?

5. Describe the process by which mercury atoms become excited in a fluorescent night club.

6. What is meant by an “excited atom”?

Do you care?

7. What is the radius of a theoretical physicist?

8. Resistivity. Go figure?

9. Conducting putty is shaped into a cylinder.

How much more fun would it have been to have shaped it into the shape of, oh, I don’t know, why don’t you guess?

10. Do not write the answer to any of these questions.

Why not?

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