so the saying goes,
through school, career, and whatnot,
then, towards the end of it
all,
you may find that you have
enough
disposable income
to afford
a Giant Inflatable Cat.
This is the Ultimate Carrot
which dangles in front of each
new
desperate generation:
the potential acquisition of
a Giant Inflatable Cat.
Originally introduced as a
social experiment
which got ‘slightly out of hand’,
it sought to determine if
people could respond positively
to setting themselves truly
pointless life goals,
to wit – the ultimate
pointless life goal
(arguably)
being the eventual acquisition
of
a Giant Inflatable Cat.
Of course, other, lesser
material goals,
can also be realised on the
way,
as a spur, an encouragement.
That outboard motor for your
harpsichord.
The modern house,
constructed out of anti-soundproof
materials,
and misplaced hope.
The holidays in Spain.
Your next-door neighbour’s
life.
But no
Giant Inflatable Cat.
No mortgage, no loan, no matter how
disreputable,
can be used to secure yourself
the funds for a
Giant Inflatable Cat.
You have to have cash
and evidence of retirement.
The greatest sadness in life
is when a fellow traveller
is knocked down too soon
by Death’s inescapable scythe,
for now they would never have
the chance to own a
Giant Inflatable Cat.
They were a plague, these
Giant Inflatable Cats.
Appearing on crisp packets,
advertising hoardings, private
journals,
funerals, ice-cream vans, skyscrapers,
the Royal Insignia –
everywhere!
And inserted into every online
space
imaginable.
Yes, even there.
Quite what you do with your
Giant Inflatable Cat
once you get it,
is completely unknown.
Although admit it –
some of you kinda now
want
a Giant Inflatable Cat.
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