Today’s ‘To Do’ List

1 Write today’s ‘To Do’ list

2 Get distracted

3 Misplace ‘To Do’ List

4 Bake banana and chocolate chip cake to take up to son at university

5 Eat banana and chocolate chip cake intended for son at university

6 Text said son ‘This morning I baked a banana and chocolate chip cake for you’

7 Receive text from son thanking me for being ‘such a sharing kinda Dad’

8 Drive to shops to buy ingredients for banana and chocolate chip cake only to realise that car has been left at home (which will at least explain some, if not all, of the shouting in the street)

9 Return home to get car

10 Drive to shops (yes, in actual car, obviously) to buy ingredients for banana and chocolate chip cake

11 See no.4

12 See no.5 (nah – only kidding!) Leave banana and chocolate chip cake to cool

13 Do houseworky stuff until house no longer resembles stunt double for ‘How Clean – for want of a better word – is Your House?’

14 Find today’s ‘To Do’ list and notice that all of the things on it have been done exactly in the order and in the manner described*.

*What do you mean, ‘That’s a bit of a weird list’?