You’re not allowed to read The Daily Mail
or else you’ll be a Daily
Mail Reader,
looked down upon by the smug, self-appointed
intelligentsia (Guardian
Readers).
I wonder how these intellectuals
arrive at their conclusions, having never,
presumably, debased themselves enough
to read that wretched, tawdry little rag.
I read the Daily M
to keep informed
about what all those Daily
Mail Readers
think. I prefer to stick with poems, though;
they generally contain a bit more truth.
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