Sunday 10 July 2011

The Rain it Raineth Every Day


I hope-y for an sunny walk,
All inna mumf of grimpy Splosh!
I walk in wiv a slate-grey ksky,
And hoping not get awfy wash.

                        (Der – stewp id! Wotchoo
                        ix pecked ink, hmmm?)


Me warkled long an look for sea,
De-zerted sandy covey cove,
When Bliy me! Sudden hear a bang!
A funderstorn mine ears behove

                        (See? You am a ficko;
                        we said it all along.)


The sksy above all dripsy-drips,
Did starty fall ing on I’s face,
But only pitter-patter splat,
And not yet ever single place.

                        (Yet! Juss chew wait,
                        ner-face)


The rain eet rainy splash all wet,
The rainy! Splash! And DOWNPOUR! SOAK!
Ve funderstaum all boing! And bam!
I soaky! Drippy! DRENCHY! Bloke!

                        (‘Arf, ‘arf, har, har, har!
                        There wentings our sidesplits,
                        you massiff irriot; we
                        tolt chew.)


But not to be defeated I,
I fort, “How bad can soaky get?”
It turns out: Very much, a lot,
Complete and total total-wet.

                        (We am still orl larff-
                        out-louding, you ornamental buffoon)


The sudden sodden soaking soak,
Just like I fell in swimming pool,
I’s cloves and shoes ‘n’ ever fink,
Got through-and-frew wiv rainy drool

                        (Euurrgghh; vat sounds yuk!
                        You am are an yukkies, intchoo?)


And nearly drowned all drowndy glugle,
Drowny Fergus Gonny-gurgle,
All wet disrobed then dry as dry,
Me put on clothes belong to I.

                        (Har, har, har! Hey – you
                        fgot a say – “And ven ve
                        rain stopt.” Pfffsst!)


And then, of course, the rainy stopt,
It didn’t carry on for much,
It troof I fort it rhathver fun,
I never mind the rain, as such.

                        (All’s wet that ends wet!
                        Der, ficko! Ven why quote
                        Twewff Night, er?!)

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