You’ll Never Be a Moonbeam Now

In a move designed to rehabilitate the image of politicians in the eyes of voters, BRUTAL, the Lanarkshire-based PR company, has been drafted in to provide accurate descriptions of MPs for use in media reports. Oleaginous-faced halfwit merchant of insincerity, David Cameron, explained that the scheme was intended to rebuild voters’ trust in his ridiculous band of liars and hatstands "who had collectively put the MP into incompetence".