Tuesday, 26 February 2013

A Shortage of Vowels

As part of the Ruination’s drive towards universal austerity, Lord Wandering Hands of Libdemshire, the Under-a-Secretary of State from the Department of Unnerving Stares and Grotesquely Oleaginous Skin, announced further cuts in the number of vowels.
   “We can’t simply expect the makers of Scrabble to print endless vowels to prop up our ailing language. The economy would be in a far healthier state if people used more high-scoring letters, like ‘J’, ‘K’, ‘Q’ and ‘Z’.”
   Mortadella Cheeseboard, who, as a cross-dressing zoophiliac male-bra designer, is still the least eccentric World Scrabble Champion of all time, was unavailable for comment.
   It is expctd tht th cts wll tk plc wth mmdte ffct.

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