Part 1-and-a-half: The Poem Which You've Heard a Thousand Times Before

Ladies first. I beg your pardon. Don't be shy. You're on.
Look at what the cat dragged in. Say cheese! The magic's gone.
On yer bike. Forget I even said it. Watch this space.
Turn left at the traffic lights. Manyana. Just in case.

Wait a sec. Don't be a hero. Bad luck comes in threes.
Global Warming. Turn the lights off. Run for cover. Freeze!
Take no prisoners. Call the cops. Put both hands in the air.
I'm a little teapot. Leave this instant. It's not fair!