Armed with only a sawn-off double-barrelled surname, Intelligentsia Love-Removal-Machine marvelled at her dyscalculia.
“Stand and deliverance!” she yelled at a Baptist Minister. “Give me all your money for nothing in this life is free to do as we tell you were made for me… or Kenneth’s teaspoons will be unleashed!”
Intelligentsia found her role as Kenneth Chinook-Helicopter’s stunt girlfriend somewhat tedious. “This one’s for Johnny Marr!” she shouted, in a joke which only one person would get, as she hurled a Tiger Mother on the fire to see what colour she was when she burned. Stupidity, with a hint of orange. So it goes.
Elsewhere a giant four-poster panda was arguing with his fate.