The Five Minute Interview: A Homeopath Answers Your Questions

In a new series of “Five Minute Interviews”, we give a platform to people who are sometimes misunderstood. This week… Homeopaths.

Interviewer: In one word, could you explain how homeopathy works?

Homeopath: Quackery.

I: Does homeopathy actually work?

H: Quack. Quacks quackest quacked.

I: Potentization; is it really that simple?

H: Quackers quacky quack quack, quacked quacks quacking.

I: What does it mean to say that water has memory?

H: Quack quack quackety-quack quack quack. Quack? Quack quacking quackery quacks quacked.

I: How do you interpret the results of double-blind testing on the efficacy or otherwise of homeopathy?

H: Quackest! Quackerization quack quacky quack quack quack quacking quack.

I: In our “Five Minute Interviews”, the last word always goes to our interviewee. So, if there’s anything you feel we haven’t given you an opportunity to explain about homeopathy, here’s your chance. Take it away!

H: Quack quack quack quack  quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack…

fergusthepoet was interviewing the ghost of Samuel Hahnemann, founder of homeopathy.

Next week, he interviews the unrepentant mullet-fan, Bono, who defends his decision to sport a mullet at “Live Aid”, and how the embarrassment and shame of doing so sent him into hiding for two years.