I am 42! Count my Numbers, Oh, Ye Worthless, and Despair!

for the incomparably marvellous Lord Nautilus of 42

…there are 42 vowels in the Eritrean alpahabet…

…there are 42 weeks in an argumentative year…

…at any given time, there will always be 42 condemned men in a Texan jail…

…there used to be 42 different ways to tie a cravat…

…there will be 42 endangered species left to go, “Aaah,” about in 42 years’ time…

…a rotting vegetable exudes 42 different smells in the nose of a dog…

…there are 42 ways to leave your lover, not 50 (Paul Simon – great songwriter, lousy mathematician)…

…Level 42. Why?...

…42 biscuits…

…anything with 42 calories will make you thinner by 42% over a 42-day period...

…there will always be 42 spelling mistakes in each copy of the Guardian newspaper…

…according the Guinness Book of Records, there are 42 flavours of ice-cream…

…the A-grade boundary in A’Level Media Studies is 42%...

…inside every 42 there is a free wagon wheel…

…it takes 42 compressions of a bicycle pump before you start to wish you’d bought the expensive model…

…42 miles is the furthest distance a person has ever walked before thinking, “Why the hell am I doing this?”…

…42 is the square-root of 42 squared…

…if T = radiator (magic attack) – blue rinse/minotaur; then ostrich (yesterday x music) + offending plate = indifferent wallet. Thus: 42! (and that’s the magic of pure maths)...

…42 is the world’s only aloof number…

…you need to waste 42 plastic bags before feeling guilty about the environment…

 …on any given Tuesday, there are 42 slightly whimsical and sad people wanting to marry Morrissey…

…it is illegal in 7 states of America to allow the bill in a restaurant to come to $42…

…catharthiscatharthiscatharthiscatharthiscathars – is 42 letters…

…breath in and out 42 times whilst thinking the word “happy” to become a really annoying person…

…42 trees is officially a wood…

…until 1873, the number 42 was considered by the Catholic Church to be satanic…

…if you eat 42 doughnuts within a 24-hour period, you will die from “Doughnut Shock Syndrome”…

…42 teeth? Too many…

…there are 42 reasons why you should vote Lawnmower…

…42 is an anagram of 24…

 …“to” is the 42^nd word in the Hamlet Act III Scene I soliloquy…

…it takes 42 celebrities 42 interviews to make one half-intelligent observation about reality tv…

…there are 42 parallel universes for every man, woman and ferret living in Newport Pagnell…

…every 42^nd person born has an invisible halo which vibrates whenever anyone says the phrase “badger intolerance”…

…the 42^nd president of the USA had 42 letters in his name…

…if you have 42 pairs of shoes, then you either need to go out more often or less frequently…

…there are 42 athletes in the Belgian Olympic Squad, 42% of whom are related to Hercule Poirot…

…an orgy which has 42 naked people in it is officially a “mass” orgy…

…between 1980 and 1989, there were 42 “memorable” songs in the charts (try it)…

…it would take a total of 42 years to travel to the moon if you were travelling on a Number 19 bus (surely Number 42 bus?!)…

…there are 42 items in this entirely factually accurate list…

…HRH King Nautilus is 42 years old today; Merry Christmas Your Royal Highness…