Saturday, 23 April 2011

A Name I Can Live With


Karol Rimsky-Korsakov Rachmaninov Tchaikovsky didn’t like the names in his name. Like a group of over-testosteroned bodyguards exiting a lap-dancing club, individually they were merely grotesque, but collectively they were truly monstrous.
            Karol Rimsky-Korsakov Rachmaninov Tchaikovsky had a thought. The thought was this: too many ‘k’ sounds.
            Thus, Karol Rimsky-Korsakov Rachmaninov Tchaikovsky changed his name, and in his place stood Arol Rimsy-Orsaov Ramaninov Tchaiovsy.
            Arol Rimsy-Orsaov Ramaninov Tchaiovsy had a thought. The thought was this:  too many ‘ov’s makes my name sound like a series of swear words.
            Thus, Arol Rimsy-Orsaov Ramaninov Tchaiovsy changed his name, and in his place stood Arol Rimsy-Orsa Ramanin Tchaisy.
            Arol Rimsy-Orsa Ramanin Tchaisy had a thought. The thought was this: Arol Rimsy-Orsa Ramanin Tchaisy is a poor choice of name for a man with a couple of speech impediments.
            Thus, Arol Rimsy-Orsa Ramanin Tchaisy changed his name, and in his place stood Aol Imy-Oa Amanin Tchaiy.
            Aol Imy-Oa Amanin Tchaiy had a thought. The thought was this: what kind of stupid name is Aol Imy-Oa Amanin Tchaiy?
            Thus, Aol Imy-Oa Amanin Tchaiy, aficionado of anagrams, changed his name, and in his place stood Aloha Anionic Amity Yam.
             Aloha Anionic Amity Yam had a thought. The thought was this: at last, a name I can live with.

3 comments:

  1. I love this Fergus! I spilt my mug of tea laughing as I read it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mission accomplished, Ruth!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are truly brilliant!!!

    ReplyDelete