1 “Lean on Me” is
a love song from a lamp-post to a bicycle.
2 “I’ve Got You Under
My Sink” is the most downloaded song from the Cole Porter Songbook for
Dyslexic Sociopaths.
3 Paul (now Sporl)
McCartney wrote “Hey Jude!” for his
then Jewish girlfriend, wot’serface (oh,
come on; someone other than me has to find this joke funny eventually, for fuck’s
sake).
4 When thinking of a stage-name, thingummyjig, who, as we
all know, went on to find fame and embarrassment as Adam Ant, considered
calling himself Percy Stent or Henry Lenting.
5 The surname of the girl made famous in the Duran Duran
song “Rio” was not, ironically, de Janeiro; no, it was Tact. She later married Jim Kerr.
6 Mick (now Smick) Jagger
is a fake. The real Smick Jagger has
been sitting in the House of Lords since 1961. Everything about the fake Smick
Jagger is fake, apart from – and you will laugh at this – his accent. That’s
right, the only authentic thing about the fake Smick Jagger is his voice. And
his knighthood, which he was awarded for servicing to women.
Next week: Six
Unlikely Things at Bedtime
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