Oh, where are you going, my petal,
With such an original hat?
When I asked you to put on the kettle,
I wasn’t envisaging that.
I know that you like to be daring,
But people might openly laugh,
If you do so insist upon wearing,
A kettle to go with your scarf.
Oh, where are you off to so late,
Looking all hip and night-clubbish?
I didn’t mean go on a date,
When I asked you to take out the rubbish.
I know that you like to snub fashion,
But people might think that it’s rash,
To engage in a throwaway passion,
With a bin-liner full of our trash.
Oh, why are you screaming, my poppet?
By and large, you’re of much finer fettle.
Open your hand. And now drop it.
Oh, my God – you were grasping a nettle?!
Look, I know you’re a fool for precision,
But it makes you take things the wrong way,
So in future please make the decision,
To ignore half of all that I say.