Thursday, 13 June 2013

The Other Half is Figurative

Oh, where are you going, my petal,
   With such an original hat?
When I asked you to put on the kettle,
   I wasn’t envisaging that.
I know that you like to be daring,
   But people might openly laugh,
If you do so insist upon wearing,
   A kettle to go with your scarf.

Oh, where are you off to so late,
   Looking all hip and night-clubbish?
I didn’t mean go on a date,
   When I asked you to take out the rubbish.
I know that you like to snub fashion,
   But people might think that it’s rash,
To engage in a throwaway passion,
   With a bin-liner full of our trash.

Oh, why are you screaming, my poppet?
  By and large, you’re of much finer fettle.
Open your hand. And now drop it.
   Oh, my God – you were grasping a nettle?!     
Look, I know you’re a fool for precision,
   But it makes you take things the wrong way,
So in future please make the decision,
   To ignore half of all that I say.

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