Friday, 10 February 2012

Keepe Oote!

Each yvening, keyyes in handde, I walke aroonde
thas hoose und lorke the dauws, bothe frontte und backe.

Tha thieyves a’ welcome, uz thar’s nuthing hyerre
werthe steyling (J. Marr’s tayspoon no’withstanding).

But… uther thyngs wulde nawte be kwite as welle
reseiyvede, und thay a’ why Ah lawcke tha dawes.

Tha Muwn wuldde smassh th’s pless t’ smithareeynnes
iff givvenne harf ‘n unlaucked, wooddenne dauwe.

Tha spreyede greyy midnytte flauwers, awaush wi’ pois’ned
booqays, a’ alle tymmes mustte b’ kept a’ bayye.

Und treez; daun’t mentchion treez! The’d rippe tha hoose
apahrt wi’ alle thei’ stewpidde, sweying branchiz.

Knockteurnal bists, you’d thinke, wuldde pose a’ praublemme,
bu’ clumsyye thumbs negayte the’ vyolle intentch’ns.   

Th’ gard’n path’s tha weurste ‘f alle offend’rs;
s’ nearre und yette s’ fah; it nevah sleyppes.

Anauther blankke verrse cuplit’s whaut’s reqckwired,
But, ffrankley, Fridey aftanoon iss caullen.