Thursday, 9 February 2012

Mainly Alan

Mainly Alan wemt to work. He usedally walked on his hands, in order to avoid a carbon footprinkt, or any footprinkts, like an oxygen footprints or a radium footprint or a trainer footprint. Or a foot foot footprints. (It all backfired, as his carbon handprinkt was the biggest ever, the twap.)
            Mainly Alan workeded in an office. Like all jobs, it was a boring job; when he wasn’t drinking coughmixture, he was drilling into the office nebeath him, which were a bank. This was a high risqué strategy, but Mainly Alan reasoned that banks were used to high risk strategies, what with losing everyone’s money and then pissing away billions more of everyone else’s money apart from the millions which they bonussed themselves (for how else coulb they pay for all the destitutes and cocaine? So it was all quite, quite reasonadle as anyone who knows would know). Back to the tory.
            Mainly Alan, having wemted to work, arrived at work and got on with his drilling, like a dentsist, only knot a dentist, but a risqué bank robber who drank too much coughee (splutter).
            The breakthrough came at nine minutes past. “Eureka!” shouded Mainly Alan. “I an threw to the bank. My highly risky strategy worked and now I will be ahhh millionaire!!”
And lo and behold, the bank was empty, apart from some left over cocaine and smeared lipstick scrawled all over the mirror which read: “We spent what was left.”

Mainly Alan pondered the implications of being a nillionaire, for that is what he was. 

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