The judges all gathered round the latest fine offering of thoroughbred equine defecation. Big. Brown. Lumpy. “Ladies and Gentlemen,” they announced. “We have our winner!”
Wild, ecstatic cries rose from the crowd as the Horse Shit of the Year Show reached its thrilling conclusion: watching Heston Services Bloominghell transform the winning entry into a three-course dinner for the Channel 4 documentary Heston’s Horse Shit Challenge with invited guests from The Guardian newspaper as the lucky diners.