Just this morning, as I am walking past a field of no cows, I spy a man with a metal detector. This rather proves my theory that the cows had planned to return to the field in order to dig up their buried treasure.
“Are you looking for buried treasure?” I innocently ask the man.
“Ha, ha! Yes, let’s hope so, eh?”
I don’t wish him an insincere Good Luck , but rather carry on walking with what I hope is insouciance.
So – I was right all along. But what to do? Try and find it myself? Alert the authorities? (But which ones? The authorities on Ming Dynasty vases? Maybe not.) Apprehend the metal detecting man?
I decide, after much deliberation, to do nothing, as this is what I do best (apart, possibly, from making toast). It’s an easy course of action to follow.
Whilst doing nothing, I inwardly hope that the man is unsuccessful in his bid to locate the now legendary/mythical cow treasure. I’m also wary of badgers trying to steal it for their own well-established, nefarious pastimes. Badgers are secretive, untrustworthy creatures, always trying to short-change any passers-by.
Where was I?