Nursery Alphabet

Some lost doggerel, which was written with a group of 

unfortunates and then left to rot on the laptop. Recently

discovered by a confused archaeologist...

A is for dustbin, all covered in soup,

B is for window, whoops a-smashy-oop,

C is for nasty, all dreadful and scary,

D is for what’s that? All bald like a fairy.

E is for mouse-trap, squeak-squeaky, die!

F is for haircut, fall in your eye,

G is for fish-pond, glug, glug, glug, splash!

H is for whoopsie, all smashetty-smash!

I is for stupid, all thicko and der,

J is for laughter, all covered in myrrh,

K is for X-Men, they don’t like a fight,

L is for moo cow, all zipped-up and tight,

M is for yellow, all green, blue and red,

N is for string-vest, put on your head,

O is for tea-cup, fill up with glue,

P is for tie-pin, shiny and new,

Q is for doo-dah, fat like a splodge,

R is for flim-flam, bibbly stodge,

S is for pencil, poke in your face,

T is for cloud-pig, high up in space,

U is for pipe-line, all full of oil,

V is for post-card, stuffed in the soil,

W is for Batman, blowing his nose,

X is for clever, just like a rose,

Y is for ping-pong, ping-pingy-pong,
Z is for alphabet, silly and wrong.