How's the Coronavirus Isolation Going?

Vacuous statement followed by vapid questions accompanied by mildly passive-aggressive/needy remark about re-posting.

1. Have you ever told a cupboard to fuck off? REPEATEDLY

2. What is your favourite glue? ICELANDIC

3. How many arson attacks have you got away with? ALL 7 OF THEM

4. Orange-coloured lemons or lemon-flavoured oranges? FIRST ONE

5. What is your favourite fake poetry fact? THE OPENING LINE TO WORDSWORTH’S DAFFODILS WAS: ‘I ONCELY LENGTHWAYS AS A CLOCK’

6. Name one childhood spoonerism which still occasionally persists. PAR CARK

7. How many Abba songs do you like (please don’t name them; an air of mystery is a noble ambition)? 3

8. How often do your talk to your cat? I SAY ‘OFTEN’, SHE SAYS ‘TOO MUCH’

9. Is ‘marmalade’ the correct word for what it represents? NO (ORANGEJAMFAIL)

10. Are we nearly there yet? ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET? ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET? ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET? ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET? ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET? ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET? ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET? ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET? ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET? ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET? etc.