Monday, 22 February 2016


As we all know, The Beatles (Google them) created a revolution in pop music. This was immortalised in the quaintly pseudo-intellectual book ‘Revolution in the Head’. The Beatles even wrote two songs about Revolution: ‘Revolution’ and ‘Revolution No.9’ (I say ‘song’...).

But did this glorious revolution work? Did it? Look at the charts. No, it didn’t, did it? So, was it just a meaningless revolution?

Russell Brand wrote a book called ‘Revolution’, all about how our current society needs a revolution. That was 18 months ago (possibly). One would have thought that a call to revolution by the sexiest and most charismatic comedian of his generation would have been wildly successful. However, since the publication of Mr Brand’s revolutionary tome, the Conservative Party has won a majority of MPs in a General Election. There may be many outcomes to a revolution, but a Conservative Government run by members of the Bullingdon Club, generally speaking, isn’t one of them.

Did this glorious revolution work? Did it? Look at the repulsive, oleaginous face of the Prime Minister. And the entire Cabinet. It didn’t, did it? So, was it just another meaningless revolution?

St John, of New Testament fame, once ate a field full of mescaline and wrote an entire Book of Revolutions. This was 2,000 years ago, and so far, none of his revolutions has happened, not even the one involving many-headed monsters.

As these revolutions haven’t even happened yet, they must surely be the most meaningless of all the revolutions mentioned so far.

And finally, in 1917, the Bolsheviks orchestrated a Communist Revolution, and we all know how that one turned out, don’t we? Yes. If that wasn’t a meaningful revolution, then I don’t know what is.

Perhaps the Beatles, Russell Brand, and St John should have followed Lenin’s (and not Lennon’s) advice:

                         A revolution without firing squads is meaningless.

Revolutionaries please take note[1].

[1] Or, if you’re a Lenin-esque revolutionary, please take cyanide.

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