qualifier

after Luke Kennard (encore une fois)

for 2015½

eurovision football contest

england

versus

eleven special edition lime-flavoured milkshakes

predictably tedious affair
momentarily erupts

into controversy

as england’s captain

wayne combover

drinks left-back

peace and harmony restored

when everyone remembers

it’s only game of foopball

with little hope

of milkshakes scoring

let alone winning

their supporters instead

try win

uefa

racist behaviour award

throwing

small island st lucia

on pitch

whenever england

near goal

england supporters respond

by whistling

second movement

rachmaninov’s

third piano concerto

ref blows final whistle

seventeen times

before is heard

as england

progress to finals

where eliminated

before plane

lands

envoi

elsewhere

ray winstone

loses dignity

in advert