Mother Theresa
She may be dead but
according to the church (Roman Catholic, is there any other?) she can perform
miracles.
Mancini
Henry, not Roberto.
A Plank of Wood
A Picture of David Moyes.
Needs no further explanation.
A Nuclear Bomb
Pineau de Re
Mark Wahlberg
A Lawnmower
A Particle of Light
An Ant
The
Concept of Right-Wing Politics
Wouldn’t shirk from taking
the tough decisions. Or the wrong decisions.
The Phrase “And then things got ugly…”
For its ironic resonance
alone.
The Memory of a Half-Forgotten Song
Quite a controversial choice
and not a favourite with the bookies, but who knows?
My Little Pony (with
removable appendage)
Which footballer wouldn’t
want to be managed by My Little Pony? There would surely be a mile-long queue
of players desperate to play for Man U, despite the absence of European
football or anyone having a clue about what they are doing.
The Queen
Would anyone dare beat a
team managed by Her Majestiness? Treason, etc.
Gordon Ramsay
He’s Scottish and he swears,
which takes care of 80% of the job description of being a successful manager.
Little Bo Peep
She may have lost her sheep
but has she also lost her desire to manage at the top level?
Marilyn Monroe
Obviously she’s dead but
given recent results that’s no reason to discriminate, surely? Would boost
sales of memorabilia (although she was, in fact, a Millwall fan).
Stephen Fry
Knows more than everybody about anything including, presumably, how to manage Manchester United football team.
18 miniature bronze statues of Sir Alex Ferguson
The bronze from the statue
of David Moyes which will now never be made will go instead to make 18
miniature bronze statues of Sir Alex Ferguson.
A line of cocaine
A line of cocaine would be
enough to get most footballers into that winning mindset.
An Impossible Dream
If an impossible dream can
become manager of Man U, then anyone can.
Epitaph on a Football Dream
Bye, bye, Man U,
You were too good,
To be true.
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