Unconventional Alarms

It’s far too early in the morning
when, without a hint of a warning,
a massive SLAM assaults my senses.
I’m fast asleep so my defences
are non-existent. “What’s with all
the thunder?” when a thudding footfall
explains that it’s a son. FLUSH. SLAM.
It’s farewell sleep now, blast and damn.  
“Nice one,” I shout. “Hey, why don’t you
invite a sodding brass band too?”

Fast-forward to the following morning
when, “What the hell?” without a warning –
and here it gets completely barmy –
I’m woken by the Sally Army
blasting through some dirgeful scores;
they’re even worse than slamming doors.
The point is made, the band depart,
I stand there feeling none-too-smart,
Digesting what I’ve learnt that day:
I must be careful what I say.

(31^st July a.m. Banalities-dels-Asparagus)