Literal Madness

You know those literal-minded people,

those people who seemingly believe

that words should only have

one, bloody meaning,

 

and that Nuance is a place in France

(No? Well, imagine that you do

know them, okay?)

 

Well, these people who are literally-minded

should never keep a pair of boots

in the boot of their car.

 

Imagine their bewilderment

at having to answer,

when asked the whereabouts

of their boots,

 

My boots are in

my boot.

 

They would not be able to

follow the contradictory madness

inherent

in such an apparently harmless statement.

 

How can my boots

be in

one of 

my boots?

 

they would think, even if momentarily,

before they grudgingly concede/recalled,

that the word boot may –

stupidly, in their opinion –

have another meaning, to wit:

 

‘the storage compartment

in the back of a car’.

 

Your very helpful suggestion,

which is duly noted,

that they simply refer to the boot

of their car –

 

as a trunk –

 

would have worked splendidly

had our literal-minded acquaintance

but owned an elephant

 

in whose trunk he could have stored

two boots,

one up each nostril.