Because other drivers are cretins,
TV is insultingly banal,
the weather is abysmal,
pop music is dead,
tattoos are everywhere,
£3.50 for a cup of coffee is normal,
Madonna is still famous,
Beige-Paint-Chart politicians are all equally clueless,
#I’maSanctimoniousTw@co.uk is trending,
there is now a market for male grooming products,
Morrissey became an embarrassment,
and other people’s spineless online anonymity
encourages and enables them
to spit more poison than a room full of rattlesnakes,
making society just a little
more hateful, fragile and combustible
than is good for it.
Why do they all hide?
What are they scared of,
these Pseudonymous Keyboard Combatants?
They seem to have a lot to say for themselves.
Maybe they could tell us their names?
But no, they won’t.
They’d rather lose their tongues.
And so, away they post, post, post,
their pathetic, ill-constructed, ignorant remarks
masquerading as wit or political insight,
just something else to make me