Thursday, 3 August 2017


making sense of the impossible
the rage of years channelled into verse
defiantly fucked up

the magnificent catastrophe
the majestic disaster
on the glorious occasion, of this splendid defeat

and it all comes back
the drama
the horror

the cruelty

to live in the wrong skin
with the fury
and the anger
the compulsion and catastrophic thinking

defiant against the travesty of the past
the people
the evil people

and so today 


  1. "Defiant against the travesty of the past".

    How is this defiance? It seems to be actively feeding and perpetuating the (idea of the) "past", not defying it.

    "History is the nightmare from which I am trying to awake" - Stephen O'Joyce

    "We learn from history that we learn nothing from history" - Hegel

    "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it" - Albert Einstein

  2. ‘How is this defiance?’ It isn’t. For me, the line falls in with the irony, oxymoron and hyperbole of the poem. [Also: defiance against *the travesty* of the past, i.e. the many lies surrounding adoption (see below); as distinct from defiance against ‘the past’, which would mean everything in the past.]

    For you, the poem seems actively to feed and perpetuate the past. It does quite the opposite for me. ‘Acknowledge that those things happened; now try and move on.’ Hence: ‘and so today.’

    Writing which deals with the past may simply be an acknowledgement of the past; it does not necessarily entail a feeding and a perpetuation of it.

    ‘The past: it’s okay to look, but it’s rude to stare.’ The poem is full of allusions; there are no details. I think it’s looking, not staring.

    [‘The rage of years channelled into verse’: this is part of a growing collection of poems dealing with the abandonment, rejection, loss, reconciliation, and acceptance regarding adoption; part of that is rage. Better to channel the part that is rage into verse than into oneself, the latter of which is usually part of the adoptee’s coping mechanisms and which inevitably leads to depression.]