Monday, 7 July 2014

Five New Rules to Save the Glorious World Cup Competition from Certain Ignominy

1 In the ‘knock-out’ phase (it’s anything but), in the event of a draw after extra-time, the result will be decided by a game of rugby.

2 The first person to shake the referee’s hand after the match receives an on-the-spot two-year ban for match-fixing.

3 If a player scores a hat-trick , he’s not allowed to play in the next game.

4 If you get a yellow card you have to do twenty press-ups and run around the pitch three times.

5 Anyone diving has to play the rest of the game in swimming-trunks.

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