A reading from the Book of Inaccuracies
And the Trojans sent a gift to their arch-rivals, the Enemies, and the gift was a Giant Wooden Dinosaur, left outside the city gates.
The Enemies pointed and jeered at the dinosaur, fully expecting it to be a trap. So they cut the belly of the Dinosaur open with a chainsaw, but all that emerged were little baby wooden dinosaurs which fell to the ground and smashed and broke.
And when they saw what they had done, the Trojans were full of fear and they started worshipping the Giant Wooden Dinosaur so that they might placate the God of Dinosaurs (and, by implication, the God of baby wooden dinosaurs).
And after three days, the Giant Wooden Dinosaur flew up to heaven on the back of a winged aircraft carrier emblazoned with the message Things can only get banter!
This is the word of the Lord of the Dance
Response: For the sake of Auld Lang Syne